Holy Matrimony

At least six months before your wedding, you must contact one of the parish priests or the deacon to discuss your intention to marry in the Catholic Church. Please remember, no date or time for a wedding can be confirmed until this meeting takes place. At that meeting, the priest or deacon will conduct the required assessment to confirm your freedom to enter marriage within the Catholic Church. His questions will deal with such matters as previous marriages, age, maturity, knowledge about marriage, intentions, etc.

In order for the priest or deacon to conduct an accurate assessment, please be prepared to discuss any previous marriages. This includes those which took place before a Justice of the Peace or other civil official. Please note, generally the marriages of non-Catholics before civil officials (including Justices of the Peace) are considered valid by the Catholic Church. Thus, these parties are not free to enter marriage again in the Catholic Church without some disposition of that previous marriage (e.g. by death or through a formal process of annulment).

During the assessment process, the priest or deacon may also ask you to complete a pre-marriage inventory to assist in determining one's readiness for marriage within the Church. The assessment process may require more than one meeting. Once the priest or deacon is certain that nothing made known to him would prevent the marriage from taking place within the Catholic Church, he will sign the Initial Assessment Form, place it in the parish records and confirm the day and time of your wedding in the Parish Mass Book. It is only then that formal plans should be made.

Special Circumstances: In the course of the pre-marriage assessment, it may become apparent that a particular couple finds themselves in special circumstances. One of these circumstances is a pre-marital pregnancy. Formerly, it was assumed that a pregnancy was ample justification for marriage. Today, however, the divorce rate for such couples is so high that a pregnancy clearly indicates the need for special pastoral sensitivity. In these instances, the priest or deacon may want to meet with the parents of the couple or seek the assistance of an independent evaluation. Once again, the goal is to assist the couple in arriving at a mature decision based upon all the factors involved.

There are several other circumstances which may become apparent during the course of the initial interview. These include:

• a lack of readiness for marriage as assessed by the priest or deacon
• a lack of appreciation for the spiritual and sacramental aspects of marriage
• non-practice of the faith
• cohabitation (living together)
• the decision to permanently exclude children in a marriage
• refusal to take part in a pre-marriage program or refusal to participate in the pre-marriage assessment, evaluation or counseling

When one or more of these circumstances is encountered, the issues must be satisfactorily resolved before the an Initial Assessment Form can be signed by the priest or deacon.

The specific preparation for Marriage in the Catholic Church involves a program of listening and discussion. The stated policy of the Diocese of Pittsburgh requires that engaged couples participate in a pre-marriage program best suited to their needs. The content of these programs centers on the areas of sacramentality, spirituality, communication, financial responsibility, family life, responsible parenthood, sexuality and continuing formation within marriage. There are a variety of ways in which this may be accomplished. Among these are the following:

Pre-Cana Classes for the Engaged at Saint Mark Parish
A local program is sponsored by Saint Mark Parish whereby married couples along with a priest from the parish treat various topics dealing with married life. This program is conducted in Saint Kilian Church Hall on a weekend beginning on Friday evening (usually concluding by 9:00pm) and continuing on Saturday from 9am to noon. Couples must attend both days. Included with the presentations is the opportunity for questions and discussion. This program is usually held three times a year, in January, April and September. It is necessary to register for this program online. Please note there is a $25 fee per couple which can be paid on the day of the class.  Registration closes one week before class date.

REGISTER FOR MARRIAGE CLASSES AT SAINT MARK PARISH

Butler Deanery Program
This program is offered periodically within Butler County utilizing various formats. Please phone 724-287-0820 information.

Engaged Encounter Weekends
A program whereby married couples along with a priest present various topics dealing with married life. This program consists of an entire weekend, from Friday evening at 8pm until Sunday afternoon at 5pm conducted at various sites in the Diocese. Engaged Encounter weekends are held several times each month. Please contact the Parish Office for dates and a contact through whom arrangements may be made.

Diocesan Pre-Cana Lecture Series
A lecture series that is held at St. Mary of Mercy Church (corner of the Boulevard of the Allies and Stanwix Street, downtown Pittsburgh). This program consists of four 2 hour presentations on either Tuesday or Thursday evenings. A parish priest must fill out an application form before you can attend these classes. Please call 412.456.3179 or email [email protected] for information.
In addition, any other recognized program sponsored by the Diocese of Pittsburgh, another diocese, parish, deanery or campus ministry will suffice provided that the participants receive a certificate of participation and successful completion of the program.

Since marriage is a step recognized both by the Church and the state, it necessarily involves the gathering of information. This normally involves the completion of a standard set of forms by the priest or deacon who will be the official witness of your wedding.

If you are a Catholic, baptized or confirmed in a parish other than Holy Sepulcher, we must have a recent baptism and confirmation certificate (dated no more than six months before the wedding is to take place). The couple is responsible for obtaining such certificates (by phoning or writing the parish where you were baptized) All documents submitted will remain on file in the Parish Center as a permanent record. If you were baptized in a faith community other than Catholic, you too will need a copy of your baptismal certificate. A certificate of whatever age will suffice. It will be returned to you after the appropriate information is copied and recorded.

Often couples of different faith backgrounds decide to marry. There should be time devoted to discussing how each partner will contribute to the spiritual growth of each other and any children who might be born in their marriage. Among the forms to be completed before marriage in the Catholic Church, is one signed by the Catholic partner marrying a non-Catholic. This form confirms the intention of the Catholic "...to continue practicing the Catholic faith and to do all in my power to share that faith with our children by having them baptized and raised as Catholics."

In instances where one or both of the parties to be married is under the age of 21, there may be a need to interview a parent or guardian to corroborate the statements which were made regarding maturity and readiness for marriage.

While weddings may take place on any day of the week except Sundays, most are celebrated on Saturday or Friday evenings. The availability of Saint Mark Parish in either Holy Sepulcher Church or Saint Kilian Church is as follows:

• Fridays after 2pm
• Saturdays at noon or 2pm

Exceptions to the above times are not possible due to the parish liturgical schedule. In this way, the church remains available for use by the most number of people. The time allotted for your wedding is roughly two hours (including gathering before the wedding, the ceremony and pictures afterwards). Please keep this in mind when scheduling photography.

*When designing your invitation, please utilize the name and address of the church as follows:
Holy Sepulcher Church, 1304 East Cruikshank Road, Butler, PA 16002 
Saint Kilian Church, 7076 Franklin Rd, Cranberry Twp, PA 16066

Please include directions to the church with your invitations.

The "banns" of marriage are no longer required by Church law. Saint Mark Parish announces weddings in the liturgy schedule the weekend before it is scheduled to take place

** Wedding Music and Scripture Reading Samples and Online Selection Form **

Please click here for our "Wedding Music and Scripture Readings Online Selection Form" where you will be able to listen to wedding music samples, read sample marriage scripture readings, and submit your selections.

Musicians
Music is an important part of the celebration of marriage. It should not, however, overshadow the essential element of the commitment of the bride and groom to each other. Please contact the Director of Music Ministry for the names of musicians who are able to provide the music for your wedding. If you choose to obtain someone else, please insure that they contact the parish so that we can be assured that the musician(s) is capable of providing the appropriate music for a Catholic wedding and is familiar with the ceremony and the parish's musical instruments.

Please consult Dr. Brian Hart, Director of Music Ministry, for further information.  
Email: [email protected]
Phone: 724-625-1665 x2113
 

Sacraments are always celebrations of the entire Body of Christ.  Therefore, your wedding has special meaning for the entire parish community and should be celebrated with the joyful dignity that this implies.  This special celebration should be carefully planned with the mutual cooperation of the priest or deacon, the parish director of music ministry and the couple.

Guest Celebrants 
Some couples wish to ask a priest or deacon other than ones assigned to this parish to be the official witness at their wedding.  When initial contact is made with the parish, please indicate your intention to do so.  That priest will be contacted by Saint Mark Parish to ensure that he is willing and that the required preparations will be done.  The Diocese of Pittsburgh requires a Letter of Suitability for Ministry for all clergy participating in any liturgy or ministry within the Diocese of Pittsburgh.

The Wedding Mass
While the wedding of two Catholics normally takes place within the context of Mass, the Eucharist should not be assumed as a “nice background for our wedding.”  If the couple to be married is not active in their Catholic faith, serious consideration must be given regarding the appropriateness of the wedding Mass unless they have intentions of becoming active once again. 

The wedding of an inter-faith couple (a Catholic and a non-Catholic Christian) is celebrated within a “wedding ceremony” rather than a Mass (see below).  There are very practical reasons why an interfaith couple may not wish to avoid having  a Mass.  Among these are: so that non-Catholic family and friends may fully follow and participate in the celebration, that the symbols be those of unity and not disunity when non-Catholics are not permitted to receive Communion, and that the Eucharist not be celebrated amid a group of people many of whom lack an understanding of its meaning or faith in what is taking place.

The wedding of a Catholic and a non-Christian must take place in the context of a “wedding ceremony.”  The directives of the Diocese of Pittsburgh dictate that in such circumstances the Eucharist may not be celebrated.

Elements of the Wedding Ceremony
The elements that are always present in the “wedding ceremony” are: readings from Scripture, statement of intentions, the exchange of vows, the blessing and exchange of rings, the Lord’s Prayer and a special blessing.  Elements that may be added include: general intercessions (prayers of the faithful), the unity candle, and the sign of peace and an offering of flowers to the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Music 
Music is an important part of Catholic liturgy.  It is required that the parish director of music ministry be involved in the wedding liturgy.  The respective Director of Music is available to assist you in planning your celebration as well as providing the vocal and instrumental music.  Our Director can be reached by phoning the Parish Center (724-625-1665) or by means of the parish web site.  

If you chose to employ additional musicians or vocalists to work with the parish director of music ministry, careful planning and collaboration is necessary and fees apply.  If you wish to have other musicians supply all the music for the ceremony, the collaboration and presence of the parish director of music ministry is still required to ensure that the music selected is in accord with Church directives. Namely, all music before, during and after the liturgy is reflective of the reverence and dignity of the occasion, intensifies the Christian meaning of the liturgical service, and dignifies and enhances the sacredness of the wedding liturgy in a way that is consistent with the theological and liturgical tradition of the Catholic Church.

In addition to assure that the parish’s musical instruments and sound system are in working order before, during and after the ceremony, the parish director of music ministry must be present before and during the wedding ceremony and fees apply.

A more detailed discussion of the music for you wedding will be addressed in a separate informational handout provided by the Director of Music and included as a supplement to this booklet.

The Entrance Procession  
In recent years, several options have emerged for this aspect of the wedding.  There can be an entrance procession similar to that of a Sunday Mass where the congregation stands and sings an entrance song while the priest or deacon and the wedding party enter (including the bride and groom and sometimes their parents).   Some brides are escorted down the aisle by their father (and/or their mother).  At some weddings, the attendants are escorted down the entire aisle by the groomsmen, at others they walk alone and are met by the groomsmen at the front of the church.  In any case, your preference regarding the entrance should be discussed with the priest or deacon presiding at the wedding.

Crash 
A "crash" (a long white strip of cloth or plastic) is sometimes unrolled at weddings immediately before the wedding party proceeds down the aisle.  While this has become a custom in some places, it is not permitted at either Saint Kilian or Holy Sepulcher. The safety of the wedding party and all guests is a serious concern. 

Scattering Flower Petals  
It is not permitted to scatter flower petals in the aisle before, during or after the ceremony.

Scripture Readings 
Readings from Sacred Scripture (Bible) are always a part of a Catholic wedding.  The Scripture readings may be chosen in consultation with the priest or deacon from a selection provided through the Church.  Family members or friends may be chosen to read the Scripture (other than the Gospel).  Any person doing so, however, should be a good speaker, familiar with Catholic liturgy and feel comfortable in front of people and in a church setting.

Offertory Procession
If the Mass is celebrated at your wedding, you may choose to ask some family members or friends to bring to the altar the bread and the wine. This may include as few as two and as many as four people.

A Symbolic Offering for the Poor
Another wedding custom is for the bride and groom to present symbolic gifts for the poor.  This custom usually takes the form of a basket of canned goods or non-perishable items being carried with the bread and wine at the offertory procession (at Mass) or other appropriate time within a ceremony.  This custom is a sign that the couple recognize that their wedding is taking place within a wider community about whose needs they are rightly concerned. This is completely optional.

Reception of the Eucharist
It is the directive of the Catholic Church that only Catholics may approach the table of the Lord to receive Holy Communion.  If Mass is being celebrated as part of your wedding ceremony, please make this directive known to non-Catholics who may be attending.

Exchange of Peace
Before the Lord’s Prayer (at a wedding ceremony or a wedding Mass) a sign of peace is exchanged.  At that time, some couples choose to greet their families and the wedding party.  While permitted, the exchange of peace is completely optional.

Flowers to the Blessed Virgin Mary
A Catholic wedding custom is the presentation of flowers at an image of the Virgin Mary shortly before the conclusion of the ceremony.  This gesture is completely optional.  The bride and the groom should perform this gesture together.   

Post-Wedding Customs
Please ask those attending your wedding not to throw rice, confetti, birdseed, or anything else in the church or anywhere on church property.  Helium balloons are not permitted inside the Church and are not permitted to be released on Church property.  In addition to being a safety hazard, the parish maintenance personnel have other duties on weekends. 

Receiving Lines
Receiving lines are better placed at the location of the reception than at the back of church.  If you choose to have a receiving line at the church, please note that may limit your time for pictures.

Photography 
You are welcome to have a photographer or videographer record your wedding provided that there are no distractions during the liturgy. Taking pictures in the sacristy (before the ceremony) or from in the sanctuary (during the ceremony) is not permitted.  The operative principal is that the church is a house of prayer and not a photography studio. Included with this booklet is a set of guidelines to be given to any photographer or videographer included in your wedding plans.

Flowers 
Flowers have traditionally been a part of the wedding ceremony.  They are, however, optional.  If you choose to have flowers at your wedding, arrangements should be made with the florist of your choice.  If more than one wedding is scheduled for your date, you may arrange with the other couple to purchase flowers together.  Please inform the florist that no arrangements may be placed on the altar.  Flower stands are available at the church.  The married couple is free to leave flowers in the church following the wedding as a gift to the people of the parish.

Pew Bows and Accessories  
Pew bows are permitted; however, they must be secured with ribbon or rubber bands.  Absolutely no tacks, tape or clip-on holders are permitted.  Please inform the wedding coordinators if any pew bows, flowers or other accessories are to be kept as “keepsakes” as these items will be disposed of if left in the Church following the service.

Unity Candle 
The use of a "unity candle" (a set of three candles) may be considered an option in a wedding ceremony in which this custom is part of the non-Catholic’s tradition. This needs to be discussed with the priest or deacon well in advance of the service for permission to be granted.  Two of these candles are lit before the ceremony and the center candle is lit by the bride and groom following the vows.  The symbolism represents the baptism of the bride and groom now joined as one.  If you choose to utilize this rite, please bring the three candle set to the church at the rehearsal.

Additional Aspects 
If you would like to include any other features in your wedding, they must be discussed with the priest or deacon beforehand.

Altar Servers 
Altar servers are usually not needed for a wedding.  However, if the couple has relatives or friends who regularly serve, they are most welcome to assist.  An offering is usually given to those who serve at weddings and this is best handled through the wedding coordinators at the wedding rehearsal.

Parish Wedding Coordinators
Parish volunteers are provided to assist the celebrant and the wedding party to ensure the Mass or ceremony goes as smoothly as possible.  Our Coordinators will contact you prior to the wedding day, attend the rehearsal and will be of as much help as possible during the wedding.  No outside or freelance bridal/wedding coordinators are permitted to assist with the wedding ceremony or activities occurring on parish grounds (most especially within the Church).

Rehearsal 
Usually a rehearsal is conducted the evening before the wedding.  The time is set after consultation with the priest or deacon who is to be the official witness for the ceremony, and after considering the parish schedule and the time of any other rehearsals already scheduled for that evening.  It is the couple's responsibility to ensure that the wedding party is on time for the rehearsal. 

It is extremely important that rehearsals and weddings begin at the scheduled time.  The priest, deacon and music minister have parish schedules that must be met. Understandably, traffic and other issues may arise, but it is the responsibility of the couple to inform their wedding party and guests that they should allow plenty of time because the rehearsal and wedding begin as scheduled.

The couple must present the marriage license at least by the rehearsal.  Due to the sometimes frantic activity on the day of the wedding it is important to also provide all the fees and donations at the time of the rehearsal.  It is also helpful to bring to the rehearsal (and to leave at the church) those things that will be needed for the wedding (e.g. the programs, wedding candle, etc.).

Wedding Party
Ushers for the wedding (usually the groomsmen) should arrive at the church no later than 45 minutes before the scheduled time for the wedding.  They should be prepared to seat or otherwise assist guests. The groom and best man should go directly to the sacristy as directed at the rehearsal.  Please do not bring any food or beverages into the church.  No consumption of alcoholic beverages is permitted by anyone at the rehearsal or the wedding.  Violation of this policy or any public display of intoxication may mean the clergy will not be able to conduct the ceremony.

Seating of Guests 
Because the church is a house of prayer, talking and conduct in the vestibule and the church proper should be in keeping with the sacred character of surroundings. Ushers should promptly escort guests to their seats.  The mother of the groom and the bride should be seated a few minutes before the wedding is scheduled to begin.  This should not be delayed in order to seat those who arrive late (they may seat themselves after the entrance of the wedding party).  Again, weddings must begin at the scheduled time.

Bride’s Room
Both Churches have specific rooms for the bride and her party. The room is ample and may be used for gathering before the wedding and last minute details.  There is an adjoining rest room and the suite may be locked during the wedding.  Saint Kilian Church has a Bride’s Room on the lower level while Holy Sepulcher’s room is to the right upon entering the Church through the main entrance.  

Confessions
The bride, groom and wedding party may wish to celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation (confession) before the wedding.  Please arrange for a time to do so well before the rehearsal because there is usually little time to celebrate this sacrament appropriately after the rehearsal.

A Commonwealth of Pennsylvania Marriage License is required for any marriage taking place in Saint Mark Parish. This license may be obtained from any county license bureau within the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.

Catholics relate to Christ's universal Church as members of a parish.  Such membership is important for many reasons.  If you are not currently a member of a parish, please formally register at one as soon as possible.  Following the wedding, it is also important to formally register in the Catholic parish nearest to your new home. 

Our parish strives to be supportive to its newly married parishioners and we want you to know that we consider you valuable to the life of our community.

If you will be living within the Saint Mark Parish area after your wedding, please register with the parish if you are not currently a member. Please consult the parish web site for details (www.saintmark.org).  If the parish staff can be of assistance to you in any way, please do not hesitate to contact us at the Parish Center (724-625-1665) or by email from the website.

Seeing that you are truly a valuable part of the life of our parish family being a registered member of the parish helps to ensure we can provide effective, relevant and timely ministry to you.  We invite you to become active in all that occurs within either of our parishes.  If a priest, or member of the staff, can assist you in any way do not hesitate to contact us through either parish.